Q, 1995-01-01 The following was one of a series of flippant interviews done with various stars to celebrate 100 issues of UK's premiere glossy music magazine Q magazine issue 100 Jan 1995 (interviewer Phil Sutcliffe) Q How the devil are you EC I'm having a ball Q Being back with the Attractions, have you rediscovered the lad in yourself EC Not really. Everyones a bit crankier in the best sense of the word. i was going to call the album Crank at one point, becauses thats probably what people think I am. Q What do you think of when you think of Q EC It can be a bit stuffy. But its main service is to alert you that 'Hey thats out', and to find out where the last living member of Fat Mattress is - you think, Oh thats where that bloke i lent to in 1977 got to. Q and where are you now EC at home near Dublin Q What is ordinary home life for you EC Well, I write most of the time. The good thing about living outside the town is that i can make as much noise as i want any time of the day, if thats what I need or I can have quiet. Even so, on tour I'm still writing songs crouched in the cupboard in the middle of the night. I'm quite adept at writing things down in the dark. You can torture yourself with the thought of something crucial being lost forever. I mean I have walked into a shop and bought a Dictaphone because i had something in my head and i knew i wouldn't remember it all the way home. There was muzak playing and I stood there with my fingers in my ears signing my bit of melody to myself while they put the batteries in. Or I've stood in one of those open phone boxes singing to my own answering machine. People think its glamorous songwriting, but this is what its really about, walking about singing to yourself and everyone thinking you are a loony. Q Have you ever had writers block? EC I never say, hey i've got a block. Thats asking for trouble. You can trick yourself into writing in any number of ways. Have you seen the Tony Hancock film 'The Rebel'?. He's this great new painter, and when he's asked how he mixes his paint, he says "in a bucket with a big stick". The critics all laugh at him, but, of course, its true. When i start writing, If I haven't caught some sort of rhythm from somewhere and written a whole lyric straight off, I buy a huge sketch pad and throw all the phrases scattered from my notebooks and jotted down on the backs of envelopes down on the page and see if some sort of link or pattern will emerge. Q How has your life changed in the last 8 years EC I got married again. I've been in Dublin for 5 or 6 years, adjusting to that. I've worked with a tremendous number of different people, all sorts of adventures. The way I work became much less "heres an album, there's a tour". I got out of that cul-de-sac Q Whats your view of England now EC It feels like the forces of darkness are on shakier ground. Some of them should definitely go to jail; the rest of them, well it'll probably all work out and they'll die screaming in agony. We can't ask for more than that can we (Laughs) Q If you ruled the world.... EC It'd be really fucked! Q Do you drive EC Yeah. In fact i learnt in the last eight years Watch out ! Q So what kind of bloke are you at the wheel of a car? EC I ended up against a telegraph pole once because a guy came round a corner on the wrong side of the road. After that happens you tend to be a bit more cautious and i use the horn when i am going round a blind bend like they do on the continent rather than suddenly finding a truck full of milk churns thundering down at me. And I'm useless at parking, I want one of those magic cars you park sideways. Q What books have you enjoyed recently I almost never finish books. The last on I read was peter Guralnicks book on Elvis Presley. I do read a lot about music, biographies, historical stuff. But I never read new novels. I'm just not interested in them. From the reviews they sound ghastly. I take recommendations like the Booker Prize shortlist as an insult. Thats why i will never go to a music awards ceremony. Q..What do you think when you see old pictures of yourself EC Ugly git... But I'm not bothered about getting older. I quite like it. I was 40 a couple of months ago and i didn't get the slightest bit down until about 2 in the afternoon when i got fed up with everybody ringing me up to ask me what I was doing to celebrate... Q Do Oasis lift your spirits EC I quite like the sound of them yeah. They make me laugh and i don't mean that in a bad way. Q Whats the present situation with regard to the beard EC I haven't noticed any new developments. I know from the letters page that Q readers are particularly sensitive about these matters. I don't really understand it. The beard was directly connected to my mind in some peoples perception, as if it was growing inside my head. Q What is the prince of all cheeses ? EC Theres one in Ireland called Milleens which is great because it smells like old shoes Q How much does a pint of milk cost EC I don't drink milk. I drink black coffee and black tea. We don't have it in the house. Otherwise it would be a good question. Q Could you give us a personal grooming tip EC Keeping nose hair clippers about your person at all times is very important. You have to be aware of that. Its so easy to offend, particularly when abroad. To keep up with my grooming, I carry a Swiss Army knife, so my nails are always in immaculate condition...and i can get a stone out of a horses hoof as well. Q What are you doing for Christmas EC I'm going away to the Caribbean. It will be the first proper 2 week holiday I have had in 16 years Q Tell us a joke EC God? Really I'm absolutely useless at telling jokes. I have written songs about how I can't tell jokes Q Oh go on EC The only one that ever comes to mind is....I'm sorry its the old Roy Rodgers joke. Roy Rodgers is riding the range and the posse heads him of at the pass and the sheriff says, Roy, bad news, the Indians have attacked your ranch. they've burnt it to the ground and stolen all you cattle. And Roy Rodgers says, thats terrible, I 've got to get back!. And the sheriff says, Roy, before you go, they stole all your horses too. Roy says I've gotta get back I gotta get back. And the sheriff says, Roy, before you go, they took all your children away with them. And Roys says Oh my god I've got to get back!, I've got to get back!. And the sheriff says Roy, before you go, the chief took your wife to be his squaw. Roy says I've got to get back!, I've got to get back!. And the sheriff says Roy, before you go, theres just one more thing. Roy says whats that?. And the sheriff says Roy, sing us a song will you Kevin Miller....Edinburgh Scotland kevin@wilma.demon.co.uk