Kojak Variety lyrics

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Strange

How many wrinkles in a pickle?
How many hairs in a head?
How many waves in the ocean?
How many crumbs in bread?
But last, but not least, but baby most of all
Why do I m-mumble every time you call?

(Chorus:)
Because you're strange to me baby
Oh, you're good to me mama
Well, I admit you are strange
But baby, please don't change
I know I belong with you

How many bubbles in soap?
How many chewings in gum?
How many rolls in a wheel?
Where did eyeballs come from?
But last, but not least, but baby most of all
Why do I m-mumble every time you call?

(Repeat Chorus)

How many blanks in a blanket?
How many cuts in a knife?
How strong is a bedbug?
And how deep is his bite?
Last, but not least, but baby most of all
Why do I m-mumble every time you call?

(Repeat Chorus)

Strange, you got a big double head and one bloodshot eye
Strange, you got five double chins, you eat baboon pie
Strange, your knees look like the knees of a nanny goat
Strange, you got two left legs, your lips don't close
Strange, there's something wrong with you, I don't know what it is
Strange, I'm gonna leave you alone, gonna leave you like this


Hidden Charms

Her lips are sweet
Her legs are big
Her looks can make you
Dance a jig
Her touch is so soft
Her heart is so warm
What knocks me out
Is your hidden charms

Her voice is so soft
Her love is so true
I think about her
That's all I do
She's weak and wanton
In my arms
What moves me darling
Is your hidden charms

When I hold you in my arms
Brings out all of your hidden charms

Your kiss is so pure
As the morning dew
A real gone love
Is exciting too
Her eyes they talk
And say "c'mon"
What kills me baby
Is your hidden charms

When I hold you in my arms
Brings out all of your hidden charms


Remove This Doubt

It's hurting me
It's hurting me
This doubt is hurting me

So remove this doubt from my heart, little girl
And let me live my life knowing you care
Remove this doubt from my mind, little girl
And let me breathe again feeling my love is shared

Each time we meet
You make me feel so incomplete
There's no joy in the air
I just don't think you care

Close the door on doubt forever
And may it never more make me unsure
Turn the key and lock away this doubt in me
Keep it in the dark, not in my heart

Be more tender
Completely surrender
Your love to me
Is sweet and not discrete

Remove this doubt from my heart, little girl
And let me live my life knowing you care
Remove this doubt from my mind, little girl
And let me breathe again knowing my love is shared

Each time we meet
You make me feel so incomplete
There's no joy in the air
I just don't think you care

Remove this doubt from my heart...


I Threw It All Away

I once held her in my arms
She said she would always stay
But I was cruel
And I treated her like a fool
I threw it all away

Once I had mountains in the palm of my hand
And rivers that ran through every day
But I must have been mad
I never knew what I had
Until I threw it all away

Love is all there is, it makes the world go 'round
Love and only love, it can't be denied
No matter what you think about it
You just won't be able to do without it
Take a tip from one who's tried

So if you find someone that gives you all of her love
Take it to your heart, don't let it stray
'Cause one thing for certain
You will surely be hurtin'
If you throw it all away
If you throw it all away


Leave My Kitten Alone

You better leave my kitten all alone
You better leave my kitten all alone
Well I tell you, big bad bulldog
Well, you better leave her alone

Don't you know my kitten isn't tame
Don't you know my kitten isn't tame
So get your hands off of her
'Cause I'm her lovin' man

Well mister dog, I'm gonna hit you
On the top of your head
That girl's gonna miss you
And you're gonna wish that you were dead
You better leave my kitten all alone
I love my little kitten
Well, like you hounddogs love your bone

Well mister dog, I'm gonna hit you
On the top of your head
That girl's gonna miss you
And you're gonna wish that you were dead
You better leave my kitten all alone

I tell you, big bad bulldog
Well, you better leave her
I tell you, big bad bulldog
Well, you better leave her
I tell you, big bad bulldog
Well, you better leave her alone

You better leave
You better leave
You better leave my kitten all alone


Everybody's Crying Mercy

I can't believe the things I'm seein'
I wonder bout some things I've heard
Everybody's crying mercy
When they don't know the meaning of the word

A bad enough situation
Is sure enough getting worse
Everybody's crying justice
Just as long as there's business first

Toe to toe
Touch and go
Give a cheer
Get your souvenir

People running 'round in circles
Don't know what they're headed for
Everybody's crying Peace on Earth
Just as soon as we win this war

Straight ahead
Knock 'em dead
Pack your kit
Choose your hypocrite

Well you don't have to go to off-Broadway
To see something plain absurd
Everybody's crying mercy
When they don't know the meaning of the word
Nobody knows the meaning of the word

When they don't know the meaning of the word
Nobody knows the meaning of the word
Nobody knows the meaning of the word


I've Been Wrong Before

The night we met
A night that I won't forget
You've seen what I've been waiting for
But baby, I've been wrong before

You held me tight
And everything seemed just right
I couldn't ask for more
But baby, I've been wrong before

She used to smile at me
And hold my hand like you do
Then she left me
And broke my heart in two

See your face
And feel your warm embrace
You're all that I adore
But baby, I've been wrong before
Oh baby, I've been wrong before


Bama Lama Bama Loo

Bama Lama Bama Loo
Gotta girl named Lucinda
They call her the great pretender
Gotta girl named Lucinda
They call her the great pretender
And when she talks
She says a Bama Lama Loo

(Chorus:)
Well, Bama Lama Bama Loo
Bama Lama Bama Loo
Bama Lama Bama Loo
Bama Lama Bama Loo
Well, I dig her style
She's 'bout to drive me wild
With Bama Lama Bama Loo

Well, I asked my baby for a kiss
She shook her head around like this
Well, I asked my little girl for a kiss
She shook her head around like this
She said ....

(Repeat Chorus)

Well, I asked my little girl for a kiss
She shook her head around like this
I asked my little girl for a kiss
She shook her head around like this
She said ....

(Repeat Chorus)

Well, I dig her style
She's 'bout to drive me wild
With Bama Lama Bama Loo


Must You Throw Dirt In My Face

What is it that brings you to this part of town
Curiosity, conscience or fate?
I know it's not love, 'cause I once gave you love
And all you showed me was the gate
I got a feeling you've come back to just rub it in
And to really put me in my place
You've already put big old tears in my eyes
Must you throw dirt in my face?

Must you keep telling me that you've got a new love?
I don't need you to remind me
Must you keep telling me how I look so lonely
And my better days are behind me?

Must you keep showing me pictures of him
And boasting of his warm embrace?
You've already put big old tears in my eyes
Must you throw dirt in my face?

You've already left me and broken my heart
Told me how much you don't want me
Believe me, I'm happier when we're apart
Why must you come back now to haunt me?

Must you keep showing me pictures of him
And boasting of his warm embrace?
You've already put big old tears in my eyes
Must you throw dirt in my face?
Oh, you've already put big old tears in my eyes
Must you throw dirt in my face?

Oh...
Must you throw dirt in my face?


Pouring Water On A Drowning Man

You push me when I'm falling
And then you put me down
I guess I missed my calling
I should have been a clown
How much more
How much more can I stand
You're pouring water on a drowning man

You put me on the right track
And then you put me down
You stab me in the back
Every time I turn around
Criticize my lovin'
When I'm doing the very best I can
You're pouring water on a drowning man

You're pouring water on a drowning man
You treat me like the fool that I am
You brag that I like everything you do
Put salt in my wounds
It's sad but it's true

You warm me with your kisses
Then you leave me in the cold
How can I know your wishes
When I've never been told
Won't you please forgive me
Just try and understand
You're pouring water on a drowning man

You're pouring water on a drowning man
You treat me like the fool that I am
You brag that I like everything you do
Put salt in my wounds
It's sad but it's true

You warm me with your kisses
Then you leave me in the cold
How can I know your wishes
When I've never been told
Won't you please forgive me
Just try and understand
You're pouring water on a poor drowning man

I got tears in my eyes
Oh, I'm a drowning man
I got tears in my eyes

You're pouring water on a drowning man
You're pouring water on a poor drowning man


The Very Thought Of You

The very thought of you
And I forget to do
The little ordinary things
That everyone ought to do

I'm living in a kind of daydream
I'm happy as a king
And foolish though it may seem
To me, that's everything

The mere idea of you
The longing here for you
You'll never know how slow the moments go
Till I'm near to you

I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you
The very thought of you
My love

The mere idea of you
The longing here for you
You'll never know how slow the moments go
Till I'm near to you

I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you
The very thought of you
My love


Payday

Let's go out on the town tonight
My pockets are heavy with loot
And get drunk and nasty
And loud and aggressive to boot
I've been living from hand to mouth
For what must be three or four weeks
And I can tell you one thing, Jack
You listen when your stomach speaks

I feel good, just like I knew that I would
And all on account of that wine that I bought today
And I'm smiling so sweet at every little girl that I meet
And some fools will try to tell you it's a sin to feel this way
Oh, it feels so funny having all of this money
I think I feel like dancing the night away
I think I feel like dancing the night away

I got me this long-legged girl
To help me to spend my dough
A heart as big as your mama's stove
And a body like Brigitte Bardot
I'm all ready for some rock 'n' roll
With the guitar turned up loud
And the fancy footwork
And a low-down, drugged-up crowd

I feel good, just like I knew that I would
And all on account of that wine that I bought today
And I'm smiling so sweet at every little girl that I meet
And some fools will try to tell you it's a sin to feel this way
Well, it feels so funny having all this money
I think I feel like dancing the night away
I think I feel like dancing the night away
I think I feel like dancing the night away


Please Stay

If I got on my knees and I pleaded with you
Not to go but to stay in my arms
Would you walk out the door
Like you did once before
This time be different
Please stay, don't go

If I call out your name like a prayer
Would you leave me alone with my tears
Knowing I need you so
Would you still turn and go
This time be different in some way
Don't go, please stay

You took me away from the rest of the world
When you taught me to love you like this
Now I hang my head when I think how you lied
But I still can be saved by your kiss

I loved you before I even knew your name
I wanted to give you my heart
But when you came back after leaving me one time
Oh I knew, yes I knew that the heartaches would start

If I told you my life was a song
That was written for you, you alone
Would you hurt all my pride
Oh, till I cry
This time be different
Please stay
Oh, this time be different in some way
Don't go, please stay
Please stay, don't go


Running Out Of Fools

Sure you haven't got the wrong number?
Sure it's me you want to talk to tonight?
Everyone in town's got your number
Everyone in town's got you pegged just right

Is that why you got in touch with me?
I guess you must be running out of fools

Even when you left me there crying
Your goodbye was even colder than ice
You didn't care that you left me there crying
Now you wanna break my heart twice

Is that why you got in touch with me?
I guess you must be running out of fools

I guess you got back to my name in your little black book
Hey, guess what, I bet you forgot how I even look
So go ahead with all your sweet talking
Go ahead for all the good it will do
Have yourself a dime's worth of talking
Then I'm gonna hang right up on you

'Cause this time you're not getting through to me
I guess you must be running out of fools

Even fools like me
Even fools like me
I guess you're running out of fools
Even fools like me


Days

Thank you for the days
Those endless days, those sacred days you gave me
I'm thinking of the days
I won't forget a single day, believe me
I bless the light
I bless the light that shines on you, believe me
And though you're gone
You're with me every single day, believe me

Days I remember all my life
Days where you can't see wrong from right
You took my life
And then I knew that very soon you'd leave me
But it's alright
Now I'm not frightened of this world, believe me

I wish today could be tomorrow
The night is dark, it just brings sorrow
Let it wait

Thank you for the days
Those endless days, those sacred days you gave me
I'm thinking of the days
I won't forget a single day, believe me
I bless the light
I bless the light that shines on you, believe me
And though you're gone
You're with me every single day, believe me

Days I remember all my life
Days where you can't see wrong from right
You took my life
And then I knew that very soon you'd leave me
But it's alright
Now I'm not frightened of this world, believe me
Days...

Thank you for the days
Those endless days, those sacred days you gave me
I'm thinking of the days
I won't forget a single day, believe me
I bless the light
I bless the light that shines on you, believe me
And though you're gone
You're with me every single day, believe me

Days...


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Kojak Variety
Kojak Variety album cover.jpg
studio album by
Elvis Costello
ReleasedMay 9, 1995
ProducerElvis Costello & Kevin Killen
LabelWarner Bros.
Length53:57


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