This Offer Is Unrepeatable

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DON'T SEND ANY MONEY!
For fate has no price
Ignore at your peril this splendid advice
An invaluable link in an infinite chain
An offer like this will just not come again

You wish you had women to charm and bewitch
Power of life and death over the rich
Young girls will be swooning because you're exciting them
Not only fall at your feet but be biting them

Guaranteed, guaranteed to capture your breath
Or possibly scare you to death
Sign it and seal it and send it to friends
Don't mention my name
Don't make any long term plans

In thirty-six hours your fortunes will change
Your best friends won't know you and neither will strangers
Do not keep this letter, it must leave your hand
You have been selected from over five thousand

A twister and dupe will bamboozle or hoodwink you
I can't say more, it would only confuse you
The wine they will offer will go to your head
And you'll start to see double in fishes and bread

Guaranteed, guaranteed for a lifetime or more
Guaranteed, for this world and the next
Guaranteed, guaranteed for the world and its mother
Cherish this life as you won't get another one

UNLESS you should take up this fabulous offer
Don't leave it too late or you'll be bound to suffer
Woebetide anyone so woebegone
You won't know you're born or about to pass on

You'll never get tired
You'll never get bored
By the way, I just hope you're insured
If you're not satisfied
If you want more
We can always provide an improved overture
Guaranteed at a price that is almost unbeatable
This offer is unrepeatable

Your troubles will vanish
Your tears will dry
Your blessings will just multiply
Guaranteed at a price that is almost unbeatable
This offer is unrepeatable

Guaranteed, guaranteed to bring fortune and favour
In a riot of colours and flavours
Guaranteed at a price that is almost unbeatable
This offer is unrepeatable

Would I lie to you?
Would I sell you a dud?
Just sign on the line
Could you possibly write it in blood?

This Offer Is Unrepeatable
Words byDeclan MacManus & Paul Cassidy
Music byIan Belton, Paul Cassidy, Jacqueline Thomas, Michael Thomas & Declan MacManus
Performed byElvis Costello & The Brodsky Quartet
Produced byKevin Killen, Elvis Costello & The Brodsky Quartet
MusiciansElvis Costello - voice
Michael Thomas - violin
Ian Belton - violin
Paul Cassidy - viola
Jacqueline Thomas - violoncello
RecordedSeptember 14-October 1, 1992, Church Studios, London
ReleasedJanuary 15, 1993
AlbumsThe Juliet Letters, 1993
Length3:11

First known performance:
July 1, 1992, London, England
Last known performance:
April 27, 1996, Copenhagen, Denmark
     (16 known performances)


The Juliet LettersTJL album cover large.jpg

Covers

Felipe Cadenasso and Cuarteto Filarmónico performed live, August 2012, Biblioteca Nacional, Santiago, Chile 2012 infoProgrammeFelipe Cadenasso
Fear No Music performed live, 12 April 2011 Atlantic Theatre, Portland, Oregon 2011 Fearnomusic.org
Flinders Quartet and Vince Jones Intimate Letters performed live, March 2012, Canberra, Melbourne & Sydney 2012 Programme Notes
Diana Gonnissen and I Musici Brucellensis performed live, January 2011 and March 2011, Brussels and Etterbeek, Belgium 2011 infoDiana GonnissenI Musicia Brucellensis
Katarzyna Groniec Listy Julii 2009 KatarzynaGroniec.pl
Tini Kainrath and StringFizz The Juliet Letters 2005 Tini KainrathStringfizz
Ines Agnes Krautwurst, Stephan König performed live, April, 2009, Leipzig, Germany 2009 YouTubeinfo
Kerry-Anne Kutz The Juliet Letters 2006 AMGAmazon.com
Vittorio Matteucci and Quartetto Paul Klee performed live, October 2009, Centro Culturale Altinate, San Gaetano, Padova, Italy 2009 infoVittorio MatteucciQuartetto Paul Klee
Michelle Murray and David Murray The Juliet Letters 2006 AMGAmazon.com
Tom Norris Tom Norris sings Elvis Costello and Brodsky Quartet's Juliet Letters 2011 wikipediasoundcloud.com
Drew Sarich and The Dead Poet Quartet performed live, 13 January 2011, The Oval, Salzburg, Austria 2011 YouTubewikipedia
Tomer Sharon & the Israel Contemporary String Quartet performed live, 18-21 February 2007, Jewish Community Centre, Vancouver, Canada 2007 websiteYouTubeimdb.com
Sol String Quartet with Paul Villaluz performed live, 6 December 2008, College of Southern Nevada, Las Vegas 2008 YouTubeLas Vegas Sun review

Internal links

External links