Lyrics
Nice girls not one with a defect,
cellophane shrink-wrapped, so correct.
Red dogs under illegal legs.
She looks so good that he gets down and begs.
She is watching the detectives.
"ooh, he's so cute!"
She is watching the detectives
when they shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot.
They beat him up until the teardrops start,
but he can't be wounded 'cause he's got no heart.
Long shot of that jumping sign,
Visible shivers running down my spine.
Cut the baby taking off her clothes.
Close-up of the sign that says,"We never close"
You snatch a tune, you match a cigarette,
She pulls the eyes out with a face like a magnet.
I don't know how much more of this I can take.
She's filing her nails while they're dragging the lake.
Chorus
You think you're alone until you realize you're in it.
Now fear is here to stay. Love is here for a visit.
They call it instant justice when it's past the legal limit.
Someone's scratching at the window. I wonder who is it?
The detectives come to check if you belong to the parents
who are ready to hear the worst about their daughter's disappearance.
Though it nearly took a miracle to get you to stay,
it only took my little fingers to blow you away.
Just like watching the detectives.
Don't get cute!"
It's just like watching the detectives.
I get so angry when the teardrops start,
but he can't be wounded 'cause he's got no heart.
Watching the detectives.
It's just like watching the detectives.
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Credits
- Elvis Costello - vocals, guitar
- Andrew Bodnar - bass
- Steve Goulding - drums
- Steve Nieve - organ and piano overdubs
Discography
Albums:
- My Aim Is True, 1977 (U.S. version)
- This Year's Model, 1978 (Belgian, French, German, Swedish (Smash) & Argentinian versions; song mastered slightly too fast)
- Viva England, 1982 (Spain)
- My Aim Is True (reissue), Rykodisc/Demon, 1993
- My Aim Is True (Deluxe Edition), Rhino, 2001
Singles:
 Watching The Detectives, 1977-10-14
Collections:
Alternate Versions:
- Watching The Detectives (edit)
- Watching The Detectives, 1977 (some copies)
- Less Than Zero, 1985 (12" single)
- Watching The Detectives (demo version)
- NME Pogo A Go Go, 1986 (cassette version only)
- Watching The Detectives (live at the El Mocambo, Toronto 1978-03-06)
- Live At The El Mocambo, 1978 (Canadian promo)
- Live At The El Mocambo, Rykodisc/Demon, 1993
- 2½ Years, 1993
- Watching The Detectives (live at Hollywood High School, Hollywood, CA 1978-06-04)
- Live At Hollywood High, 1979
- Armed Forces (reissue), Rykodisc/Demon, 1993
- Armed Forces (Deluxe Edition), Rhino, 2002
- Watching The Detectives (live at the Park West, Chicago, IL 1996-05-18)
- Costello & Nieve, 1996
- Watching The Detectives / My Funny Valentine (live in Tokyo 2002-07-05)
- Cruel Smile, 2002
- Watching The Detectives (live with the Metropole Orkest, The Hague, Netherlands 2004-07-09)
- My Flame Burns Blue, 2006
Soundtracks:
Various Artists collections:
- Sharp (16 Sharp New Rock Acts), (Holland; mastered slightly too fast)
- New Wave Disco d'Ouro, 1981 (Portugal)
- The Stiff Records Box Set, 1992
- Three Minute Heroes: 20 Of The Best Punk & New Wave Singles, 1992 (U.K.)
- Rolling Stone: 25 Years of Rock, 1993
- Start: The Best Of British, 1994 (reissued 1998)
- Was Het Nu 70 Of 80?, 1996
- A Hard Night's Day: The Best Of Stiff Records, 1997
- Teenage Kicks, 2002
- Ultimate New-Wave, 2003
Covers
Recorded by:
Performed by:
- This section is incomplete.
Bootlegs
- This section is incomplete.
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